Savant7 » marketing

Bad Christmas Music

Richard — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:33:58 +0000

Here’s a list of some really bad Christmas songs, courtesy of the fine pervs at regretsy.

Rudolph (The Five Petals)
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Donald Trump and Regis Philbin) My idea of HELL
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Woody the Woodchuck)
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Sonovox)
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (William Hung)
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Tiny Tim)
Bethlehem Rap (Unknown)
Blue Christmas (Porky Pig)
Christmas Seals Campaign (Jack Klugman)
Christmas Seals Campaign (Barbara Feldon)
Rocking Disco Santa (American Song Poem Archives)
If Bette Davis sang “Feliz Navidad” (Jimmy James) Web site here
C3PO Christmas (Star Wars TV Special)
Carol of the Bells (Laffy)
>Bubble Tub (Carrie Lanza)
Chicken Dreidel (Unknown)
Hark, the Herald Angels Sing (Chinese Children’s Choir)
I Was Santa Claus at the School House for the PTA (Yogi Yorgesson)
I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas (Yogi Yorgesson)
Let it Snow (8 Bit) Made from sampled video game sound effects
An Orphan Christmas (Claire Lane)
12 Days of Christmas (Fay McKay)
Sleigh Ride (Dangerwoman)
Sleigh Ride (Jim Nabors)
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (Portsmouth Sinfonia)
Dominick the Christmas Donkey (Lou Monte)
Donde Esta Santa Claus (Charo)
Santa Claus, Will You Please Come Tonight? (Doug Lewis)
Little Drummer Boy (Marlene Dietrich)
>Little Drummer Boy (Surfer version)
Frosty the Snowman (Swedish)
Frosty the Snowman (The Brady Bunch)
Frosty the Snowman (Tuba version)
Hip Hop Frosty (Unknown)
Walking Talking Christmas Tree (Gene London)
>Get Your Dreidel On (Pudie Tadow)
Merry Christmas (Gordon Thomas)
>Auld Lang Syne (Jimi Hendrix)
Homo Christmas (Pansy Division)
Deck the Halls (William Hung)
A Holiday Reminder (William Hung)
>Come All Ye Faithful (Inpatient Music Therapy Program)
A Reminder from the Post Office (Jack Webb)
Jingle Cats (Jingle Cats)
>Jingle Chicken (Jingle Chicken)
Christmas Without Daddy (Joe Walega and His Happy Hearts)
Joy to the World (Wing)
Little Town of Bethlehem (Sally Kellerman butchers a Christmas Carol)
Hang Your Balls on My Christmas Tree (Kay Martin)
Night Before Christmas (Jay Leno)
The Christmas Dolly (Little Betty Ashley and J.W. Thompson)
Little Mary Christmas (Unknown)
Happy Birthday, Jesus (Major Bill Smith and Nancy Nolte)
Away in a Manger (Whistled by Fred Lowery)
Mele Kalikimaka (Davey Jones)
Merry Christmas, Neighbor (Cast of “Bonanza”)
Messiah (Unknown)
Debbie’s Last Christmas (Nancy La Plante)
Oh Holy Night (Unknown)
Santa 9-11 (Unknown) Merry Fucking Christmas
>Santa Claus is Coming to Town (The Brady Bunch)
Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Wing)
Santa Claus is Coming to Town (John Davidson)
Santa Face is Bringing Me a Budgie (Freddy Davis)
Santa Wants Lovin’ (Albert Collins)
Silent Night (Dickies)
Silent Night (Eilert Pilarm)
Come All Ye Faithful (Slim Spincter)
Stick ‘Em Up, Santa (Unknown)
A Christmas moment (Sally Struthers)
Jingle Bells (Tammy Faye)
Jingle Bells (Wing)
Tastee Christmas (Unknown) Make sure the cat is outside
Christmas Cookies and Holiday Hearts (The Caroleer Singers)
Three Letters for Christmas (Walter Brennan)
The Christmas Party (Yogi Yorgesson)
Three Kings Rap (Unknown)
All Are Waiting for Christmas (Tommy Christy)
Two Front Teeth (Unknown) Outstanding entry in the “Adult-Singing-As-Lisping-Child” category
Yingle Bells (Yogi Yorgesson)
Here Comes Santa Claus in Black (Voicedude)
Jingle Bell Hustle (Wayne Newton)
Good King Wenceslas (Woody the Woodchuck)
What’s It To Ya Chorus (Bob Rivers)
Christmas Blowjob (Unknown)

Zeekler Auctions and ZeekRewards Affiliates

Richard — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 01:51:20 +0000

The basics of ZeekRewards from Buckaroux…

As affiliates in ZeekRewards, our job is to drive new customers to Zeekler. And for doing that we share in the Zeekler profits. If you’re not familiar with penny auctions, one thing you should know is that they make a lot of money as long as they have a steady supply of players. This is why ZeekRewards can be so good to us affiliates.

Backlinks From Search Results? or Ping Your Bing

Richard — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 04:13:42 +0000

I really don’t know if this will amount to much. Will have to keep watch on some things and track some results before having much of an opinion. Here’s the deal…

I notice that it’s possible to grab an RSS feed of Bing search results. And that gives me an idea. First, I run a search for a couple of terms of interest to me…pennywhiz and zeekler…these pertain to a project I’m working on. I take that Bing search results RSS feed and run it through Feedburner, which creates a Feedburner RSS feed. My thought is that since Feedburner is a Google property, this process may just add a little juice to the links that show up in the Bing search RSS.

To further get this RSS feed on the Google radar, I’ve grabbed a Buzzboost of the Feedburner feed and am embedding it in this post. I’m not at all certain that the Google bots can read a Buzzboost, but it can’t hurt. Probably more effective would be to take the Feedburner feed and run it through an RSS parser like CaRP.

Preferred Links to Zeekler Pages

Richard — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:44:59 +0000

For future references, various links to our affiliate Zeekler pages. When possible use these links instead of linking direct to a Zeekler page.

Free Zeekler Bids http://pennywhiz.zeekler.com/splash/

Zeekler Home Page http://pennywhiz.zeekler.com/index.asp?UserName=pennywhiz

About Zeekler http://pennywhiz.zeekler.com/aboutus.asp?UserName=pennywhiz

Watch Zeekler Video http://pennywhiz.zeekler.com/watch_zeekler_video.asp?UserName=pennywhiz

Zeekler Winner’s Circle http://pennywhiz.zeekler.com/winnercircle.asp?UserName=pennywhiz

Classified Ad Sites for Posting Free Ads

Richard — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:08:27 +0000

Some of the Classified Ad sites that we find helpful in our Zeekler project. We have found these particular sites to be free, easy to list in, and liberal with what they will allow in terms of marketing messages. Plus these sites all allow a hotlink either in the listing or in user profile, or both. Traffic numbers are from compete.com and current as of July 2011.

backpage.com – 3.2m Monthly Uniques – Ad
yakaz.com – 1.5m Monthly Uniques – Ad
global-free-classified-ads.com – 116k Monthly Uniques – Ad
SaleSpider.com – 120k Monthly Uniques – Ad
adpost.com – 113k Monthly Uniques – Ad
freeshopperads.com – 44k Monthly Uniques – Ad
adlandpro.com – 36k Monthly Uniques – Ad
stumblehere.com – 32k Monthly Uniques – Ad
classifiedsforfree.com – 31k Monthly Uniques – Ad

Zeekler Penny Auction Greets New Bidders With Free Bids

Richard — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 23:41:28 +0000

Fast Growing Penny Auction Site Zeekler

With rumblings of doom and gloom in the business world, Zeekler is a breath of fresh air. The Lexington, NC based private penny auction affiliates are intent on giving away free bid packages starting August 15th throughout the rest of the year.

This massive bid giveaway is being hosted by Zeekler’s affiliate division ZeekRewards. Today, the website is the fastest growing penny auction site giving deal seekers the most complete and professional experience. You can find almost anything and everything on Zeekler from the latest GPS models to the newest MP3 players, iPads, tools, cameras, laptops, jewelry, house wares and much more.

Zeekler deal seekers are eligible to claim between 50 and 500 free bids to shop Zeekler penny auctions as opposed to the industry norm which ranges between 2 and 10 free bids. After a new user creates an account they are notified via email when the free bids have been transferred to their account.

Zeekler is going to change the penny auction industry as well as peoples’ lives. Penny auctions are a hands-on, try it and fall in love with it business model, 2 or 10 bids simply doesn’t provide a quality feel for the bidding process.

Chief Operations Officer, Dawn Wright-Olivares states that, “Zeekler is going to change the penny auction industry as well as people’s lives. Penny auctions are a hands-on, try it and fall in love with it business model, 2 or 10 bids simply doesn’t provide a quality feel for the bidding process. Zeekler affiliates are giving away REAL bids so that people can develop the bidding skills FIRST without setting their money on fire!” An entrepreneurial visionary at heart, Wright-Olivares speaks out on offering people a fun way to get the very best rock bottom deals on high demand products. “Parents are stressing about back to school and Christmas and their financial ability to provide for their kids. I understand peoples’ concern in these economic times and Zeekler’s Affiliates are determined to give back to the community by playing Santa and ensuring smiles to many faces.”

Zeekler’s auctions carry thousands of products with more to come in the near future. Zeekler.com offers excellent customer service and prompt shipment of products. The philosophy is to make the shopping experience simpler, more convenient and therefore, more fun for people even in this struggling economy.

New Nursing Jobs Website

Richard — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:14:30 +0000

We Love Nurses!

Just fired up a new Nursing Jobs in Texas website with a feed of nursing openings from our favorite job board. There’s probably a few hundred eyeballs a week available and hopefully we can push some of them over to the Online Nursing Schools website, cuz education is where the money is.

$30 for Two Oil Changes and Two Tire Rotations at Shaw Auto Care in Cuyahoga Falls

Richard — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 04:52:25 +0000

If Dorothy had never changed the Tin Man’s oil, the Wizard probably would have just thrown away his spare heart. Show your car you have a heart with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get two oil changes and two tire rotations for your car at Shaw Auto Care in Cuyahoga Falls (up to a $93.90 value).

Drawing from more than 50 years of combined auto-aiding experience, the ASE-certified mechanics at Shaw Auto Care rehabilitate road warriors with rousing draughts of oil and attentive tire care. The shop’s auto surgeons liberate carriages from engine buildups and limber moving mechanisms with spates of ambrosial oil, guarding against long term wear and tear.

Two tire rotations allow four-wheeled friends to distribute tread stress over time or, when redeemed together, play a game of around the world. Shaw Auto Care is AAA-approved, with technicians undergoing continuous training to stay in touch with the latest advances in automotive repair and juicy vehicle gossip.

Though Shaw Auto Care sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: The SATs

$45 for Salon and Spa Treatments at Nolas Salon and Day Spa in Fairlawn. Three Options Available.

Richard — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 04:46:12 +0000

After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak’s milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon at Nolas Salon and Day Spa in Fairlawn. Choose from three options:

For $45, you get a haircut with a color retouch and balance or partial highlights (up to a $105 value).
For $45, you get a 90-minute therapeutic massage (a $95 value).
For $45, you get a 60-minute multivitamin power facial (a $100 value).

Nolas’s cosmetic contractors train their artisanal gaze on sophistication-seeking clients with soothing salon and spa treatments designed to renovate unkempt bodies. Customize coifs with an identity-reinventing haircut, as hairscapers use stylish snips and a color retouch or highlights to rid follicle gardens of tousled looks, excess growth, and half-built bang gazebos. Comfort-seekers looking to improve bodily vibrations may opt for one of Nolas’s spa treatments. The 90-minute therapeutic relaxation massage uses gentle Swedish strokes to untie muscles snagged by rush-hour stress or night jobs modeling knots for knitting circles. Patrons can also gussy up grills with a 60-minute multivitamin power facial, which combines a scouring exfoliation with pore purging and a hydrating seaweed mask to leave recalibrated countenances shining.

Pampered patrons wait their turn in Nolas’s Fairlawn studio, sipping complimentary coffee in a spacious environment that resembles an inviting living room, as opposed to rows of cramped styling cubicles. Magnanimous clientele can also encourage the salon’s charitable efforts by donating to the Glass Slipper Mission, a collection of gently used dresses, accessories, and frog princes to help cash-strapped high schoolers have a suitably sparkling prom season.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Famous Equations

Why do all mathematicians wear a crown?

$75 for a Spring Yard Cleanup from Mascitti Lawncare and Landscape Co. (Up to $195 Value)

Richard — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 04:43:04 +0000

In a flawed attempt at garden maintenance, amateurs often construct a scarebee to deter pesky pollinators from cross-contaminating precious thoroughbred plants. Experience alternatives to a manicured yard with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get one spring yard cleanup from Mascitti Lawncare and Landscape Co. (up to a $195 value). This Groupon is valid only for new customers in Greater Stark County.

Mascitti Lawncare and Landscape Co. spruces up outdoor carpeting via an experienced staff and an attention to detail. The yard cleanup clears loitering leaves and snow from lots of up to 5,000 square feet, giving blades of grass an opportunity to develop base tans. A trimming of shrubs and bushes keeps hedges primped and eye-catching, and all wild debris is hauled away in cozy wheelie bins. In addition, customers seeking to retain the pleasant green on their thumbs will receive 20% off a one-year contract for lawn-maintenance service.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Proper Allowances

How much should a child get paid for impersonating a sick pet?